Why Resets Fail (and How to Make Yours Finally Stick)
Resets don’t fail because you’re “not disciplined.” They fail because they’re usually designed to clash with how human behaviour actually works. The good news: with a few science-backed tweaks—and a gentler, inside-out approach—you can turn a stuttering restart into a sustainable reset.
7 Common Reasons Resets Fail
1) Chasing motivation instead of building context.
Most plans rely on “feeling motivated,” but habits are cued by context: time, place, preceding action. Without clear cues, the reset fizzles. Newer evidence shows habit formation varies widely (median ~59–66 days; means 106–154), so motivation alone won’t carry you—structure will.
2) “All at once” overhauls.
Big bangs create decision fatigue and stress spikes. Sleep disruption alone can throttle next-day goal progress, especially on tougher goals. Your willpower didn’t vanish—your physiology was overloaded.
3) Vague intentions.
“Eat better” or “move more” is wishful thinking. Specific “if-then” plans (implementation intentions) consistently outperform vague goals—especially when behaviours require effort or cost.
4) Relying on the “21-day myth.”
When day 22 doesn’t feel automatic, people quit. In reality, habit timelines are variable—from a few days to many months—so resets must be designed for the long game.
5) Ignoring reward and enjoyment.
If the reset feels like punishment, your brain will resist. Pair a “should” with a “want” (e.g., favourite podcast only while walking). Field experiments show this “temptation bundling” meaningfully boosts follow-through.
6) Missing the moment.
Temporal landmarks (“new week,” birthdays, September, New Year) create the Fresh Start Effect—mini psychological clean slates. Resets that launch at these moments get a motivational lift.
7) No identity shift.
If your self-story stays “I’m trying to be healthy,” your brain defends the old status quo. Resets that reinforce identity (“I’m the kind of person who…”) become self-fulfilling over time—and are strengthened by imagery-based planning.
The SPACE Method
It has now been over 40 years that I have studied the science of intentional evolution (personal development) and followed a spiritual path. Turning 60 in 2025 provided a space for me to really reflect on journey and realise that there was a simple personal method I used to achievement in all areas of my life. It is a simple 5 step process and I named it the SPACE METHOD TM.
Sacred Space (clear the path).
Remove friction and competing cues: prep a protein-first breakfast station; lay out trainers by the door; schedule a 20-minute walk right after your morning beverage. Use implementation intentions: “If it’s 7:30 a.m., then I put on trainers and walk to the park.” These simple “if-then” links translate intention into behaviour.
Peace (Pacify and settle the nervous system).
Stress and poor sleep sabotage goal pursuit. Bake in micro-calming: 4–6 slow breaths before meals, tech boundaries at night, and a consistent wind-down to protect sleep quality—so tomorrow’s goals don’t feel Herculean.
Actualize Architypes (anchor tiny wins).
Start comically small (2 minutes of mobility; one veggie at lunch), then bundle it with pleasure (walk + audiobook). Track wins until the action feels automatic; expect weeks to months, not days.
Create
Embody and Express - Actualise in the 3D real world.
Midlife Spirit
My story is my signature frequency - the right people recognise it.
The Supreme 8 Pillars: Inside-Out Fuel for Lasting Change
Resets fail when they’re skin-deep. They last when they flow from the inside out—spirit, mind, body—then ripple into routine. Use the Supreme 8 Pillars (e.g., Release, Reset, Rise, Radiate, etc.) as your scaffolding. The Supreme 8 Pillars keep you anchored in identity and values so change feels natural, not forced.
Again these are practices that I have followed that are rooted in the natural world and which work equally well for our physical selves, but also for our psychological and emotional selves and which align perfectly with the science and power of habit.
Release: Let go of the “perfect start.” Choose a fresh start date (Monday, birthday month) and begin with one keystone habit.
Replenish (the second missing pillar) – restore the system so consistency is possible: nourishment, recovery, sunlight, nature, play.
Realign – course-correct with compassionate reviews; adjust goals, friction points, and supports.
Reset: Rebuild foundations—sleep, stress regulation, protein-first meals—to stabilise energy and mood.
Rise: Layer tiny, stackable actions (habit stacking) with “if-then” plans plus imagery to rehearse success.
Reward: A tiny action that signals to the brain that we like this change and that we want to do more.
Radiate: Celebrate micro-wins daily; your identity upgrades through repetition, not intensity.
Root – anchor in values, vision, and identity so the reset isn’t just behaviour—it’s who you are.
Your 10-Minute Reset Plan (Start Today)
Pick one behaviour that makes other things easier (protein-first breakfast or a 10-minute morning walk).
Write one if-then plan: “If it’s after I brush my teeth, then I drink a glass of water and start breakfast.”
Bundle joy: Reserve a show/podcast only for your walk.
Guard sleep tonight: a 30-minute wind-down without screens.
Use a landmark: Begin on a meaningful date (or tomorrow’s “new week”).
Track streaks for 8–12 weeks, not 21 days—expect variability and keep going.
In order for change to stick and be lasting every goal or life change has to be rooted in behaviour, habits, values, identity, reward and aligned with practices and processes that align with how we work cognitively, ie. how the brain is wired to work.
My work in transformation on my retreats and 1-2-1’s are a great place to begin your reset for health or midlife:
New for 2026
If you are ready to step into your glorious new identity for 2026 here are my current offerings:
8 Week Group Coaching - The Supreme Midlife Rebirth - click here for more details and to waitlist .
1-2-1 Midlife Rebirth Coaching - click here to book a clarity call with me.
To a magnificent rising!
References
(University of California Press)
(PMC)